Orange is my new color!

At the beginning of this year my color was black.  The cloud that followed me and the color I wore were both black.  At that time my future was even bleak and black as I view it.  My God had not forsaken me, I had pulled away from Him.  But things have changed. I listened to the tug on my heart to do something.  I took steps, not that I really was motivated in the beginning but because I knew deep down I was not a piece of junk.  Close but I had not thrown in the towel yet.

If you had told me then that I would be where I am today I maybe would have laughed!  More than not I would look at you like you were a fortune teller that didn't know me at all. I have always loved physical work, I didn't mind sweating.  Doing something important for a limited time, like building my fish pond was just down my alley but planning to "work out" was not on my sweating schedule.  I had gotten to where I paced myself, work hard for a few minutes and then rest.  Now I have more stamina, energy and I have lost 20 of those 75 lbs I was carrying the first of the year.

I really enjoy Martial Arts.  I sweat till I am dripping on the floor.  What is so funny is I love it.  I love the moving and pushing myself.  I just have to keep pushing the little voice in my head back into a corner.  It keeps trying to tell me I am too old, to heavy, I am going to hurt myself, I bruise too easy, and that this won't last.  I am still fighting my achilles heel and sometimes it hurts like crazy, but it is not going to stop me.  I am working at my rate.  My goal in MA is just the next belt.  Here I stand today accomplishing that goal for the first time.  My belt is Orange.  It was never my favorite color but I am beginning to love it.   Not for too long.  I am on my way to the next one already.  Could I possibly work my way to Black Belt?  Only time will tell.

Consistent Commitment

Life is getting better and better.  The depression is a thing of the past, even if it is not so far in the past.  Life has not changed, I have. Another visit to my psychiatrist  and she leaves me on the larger dose of Lexapro.  I may always be on some kind of anti depression meds.  I am okay with that.  Life is enjoyable now.

I am still going to Tai Chi classes and meeting people and have fun doing it.  I lost some weight and my husband joined me.  This makes eating this way so much easier and reduces more stress.  The weight is not coming off that quick because I am not on "DIET". I am realistic!  At this rate it could be years  before I unload the backpack with 70 lbs in it.  I know the key is movement, but I hate exercise!  I have no motivation to do it on my own.

While at Tai Chi classes I would watch the very young children going thru their routine.  It looked so easy for them.  I talked with David Hughes again.  I ask if he thought I could do Martial Arts.  David is so sweet and let me know that weight and age is not a factor.  He spent an hour with me, one on one.  He showed me what I would be learning and why and about punches and kicks.  After he explained how the belt system works, I fell in love with the idea of little chunks of a larger goal.  Goals within goals would keep me from looking to far into the future and making the end goal feel unattainable.  Now there was nothing stopping me but me.  I signed up for 6 months.  If I did it month to month it would be so easy to quit after one month.  I got my white pajamas, pink gloves and shoes, WCWMA patch and my white belt the beginning place (someone who knows nothing). 

I starter Martial Arts, 2 classes a week.  It was tough, I was out of breath and sweating from every pore.  Within 2 weeks I had my first stripe on my white belt, proof of learning.  You cannot imagine how excited I was.  Once again that feeling of accomplishment was like a drug I needed.  The extra movement helped with the weight, still slow but that is fine.

As of today, 2 months into Martial Arts I am ready for my exam for my Orange belt.  I am so happy with myself.  The first small goal is within my grasp, I am down 20 lbs.  It is getting easier to move.  My joints and I are getting along better and I know as I work harder one day the blood pressure will start to come down too.

This weekend WCWMA Extravaganza is taking place.  I will be performing with the Tai Chi group and the adult Martial Arts Group.  If I pass my test tomorrow I will be receving my orange belt in front of the school.

A New Commitment

After a month of Tai Chi I began to enjoy my classes.  Sometimes I felt like I was old and not capable of bending and remembering the next move, but I stuck with it.  Even when it felt like dancing in a blender.  Discussions with my therapist were always coming back to my weight and how uncomfortable I felt at 70 lbs. overweight.  She told me on 2 different occasions to stop trying and thinking about it.  What a relief! Then she told me when I was ready it would all fall into place.  I didn't swallow that hook line and sinker.  Nope!  I am in my 60's and this has been an ongoing battle.  IF that was true WHY would it take so long for me to be ready and when would ready happen?

I have GURD, acid reflux.  My esophagus is scared and periodically I have a procedure to check my stomach. I had been having some problems with a feeling of hunger all the time, but when I ate I got a pain like reflux. After the EGD the Doctor told me that at some time recently I had an ulcer.  It was healed but the scar tissue had closed down the outlet from the stomach.   I now had to eat small meals and more of them.  She suggested South Beach Diet because it recommends several small meals.  Was I going to be forced into a new eating plan?  Was I ready?  It was easy to eat smaller meals.  The pain would stop me.  It was easier to eat more often, who wouldn't want too.  That was easy.  I am doing what I need to why not eliminate all white stuff?  Potatoes, breads, rice and pasta were off my radar.  I started to loose, slowly, real slowly but I was not on a diet.

Can you say Tai Chi?

I drove by the Hendersonville YMCA and went in to check it out.  They had a pool, all the equipment and all the different classes anyone could ask for.  There was not a connection as I took the tour.  The price was right and even got better when I told him my age.  They had senior only classes with exercise focusing on my age group, water classes for joint pain and water aerobics.  But... I did not feel at home and comfortable.  I was at a point where I wanted to start something but didn't know what or where.  I kept thinking about yoga because my sister had been going for about a year and was doing really well.  I needed strengthening and muscle work.

I contacted my cousin Sandy Odum Hughes who with her husband David own, Ernie Reyes West Coast Martial Arts, in Gallatin. They were starting a new Tai Chi class the first of May.  I have seen people do Tai Chi and it looked so graceful and easy. I went by their place and watched small children dressed in white pajamas going through their karate routines.  The place was a like a bee hive of people and children and teenagers.  Everyone was friendly and was willing to share their thought on David and Sandy as teachers.  I was comfortable there.  I figured it was a place to start so I called my sister, Wanda to ask her if she would like to try it with me.  I needed the support and she knew it, so she drove from Old Hickory to Gallatin to join me for weeks.  Thank you Wanda. 

Tai Chi looks simple, but when your out of shape it is tiring and seems so confusing.  But after a month it became easier and so relaxing and some moves became second nature.  Yes, it makes you sweat and increases muscle strength and flexability. I had a talk with David about weight loss and got his suggestions.  I was still not dieting!!!  I am  just enjoying the Tai Chi.