At the beginning of this year my color was black. The cloud that followed me and the color I wore were both black. At that time my future was even bleak and black as I view it. My God had not forsaken me, I had pulled away from Him. But things have changed. I listened to the tug on my heart to do something. I took steps, not that I really was motivated in the beginning but because I knew deep down I was not a piece of junk. Close but I had not thrown in the towel yet.
If you had told me then that I would be where I am today I maybe would have laughed! More than not I would look at you like you were a fortune teller that didn't know me at all. I have always loved physical work, I didn't mind sweating. Doing something important for a limited time, like building my fish pond was just down my alley but planning to "work out" was not on my sweating schedule. I had gotten to where I paced myself, work hard for a few minutes and then rest. Now I have more stamina, energy and I have lost 20 of those 75 lbs I was carrying the first of the year.
I really enjoy Martial Arts. I sweat till I am dripping on the floor. What is so funny is I love it. I love the moving and pushing myself. I just have to keep pushing the little voice in my head back into a corner. It keeps trying to tell me I am too old, to heavy, I am going to hurt myself, I bruise too easy, and that this won't last. I am still fighting my achilles heel and sometimes it hurts like crazy, but it is not going to stop me. I am working at my rate. My goal in MA is just the next belt. Here I stand today accomplishing that goal for the first time. My belt is Orange. It was never my favorite color but I am beginning to love it. Not for too long. I am on my way to the next one already. Could I possibly work my way to Black Belt? Only time will tell.
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